May 15, 2013


Let me just start off by saying, I used to be... Somewhat borderline? Narcissistic. Though I have to admit I'm not supermodel looking in any shape or form. Well, narcissist in a way that I love taking selfies (self shot), loving my life, and more importantly, loving myself.

Then he happened...

You see, I'm someone who doesn't like changes, I don't even like it when things are out of my normal routine, but for some reason...

I let my guard down & I let him take whole of me. I let him come into my life. In a short two and a half months, I allowed him to mess everything up, especially with my head. When he has taken all of me, he abruptly left me. Along with all the negative emotions a person is capable of.

Now, more than a year and a half has passed, after I've met someone who I hope to be 'the one' for me, I have slowly recovered from it. I've learned to smile and laugh again, and I've learned to be happy with another person again.

I have to say though, the guy I'm currently in a relationship with right now, must really loveeeee me to put up with all the truck load of bull I put him through in the past. *chuckles* Of course, those truck loads of bull, you can say are my defensive effort to protect my feelings in case the same thing happens.

Guess you could say that the cliche saying "the one before, broke me" can be applied to my situation. I know what you are thinking reading this. You're probably thinking "What is this maniac babbling about? What's her point?"

Well what I'm trying to say is that, I should learn to be happy with myself again. I thought being with someone new could fill that void. Now... Don't get me wrong. I still very much LOVE my boyfriend. Heck I would do anything for him! Eheh....

But... Maybe, just maybe, we (me & le bf) could avoid certain fights & arguments that may have started on my end (probably due to my insecurities). If only I'd feel more comfortable in my own skin, like I once did. I had wished that my boyfriend could help me with it, but deep down, I know that only I can make that happen. I have to learn how to accept and also learn from the experiences that life throws at me, not break down from it.

And it all starts....
By making a positive change. ♥

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