Hmm.... I've always been hiatus from blogging, if you read this post you might understand why. ;)
Why do I start writing a blog?
It's not cos I want to feel famous.
It's not cos I want to brag to the world about things I have or how good I am.
It's cos I have allot of things I wanted to say but I couldnt express myself better verbally compared to writing.
I'm an emotional roller-coaster.
Sometimes its extreme highs, sometimes its extreme lows.
Over the years, so many people have told me to keep my thoughts to myself, to not be so "transparent" (to quote one of em).
What they don't know is, there so much more that I've already filtered out so many things because there's just so much I have on my mind usually.
Its easier when I was a rebellious & angry teenager, cos I couldn't care less about what people tells me.
However, over the years, those words got to me.
Maybe, that's why I don't blog much?
Each time I wanted to write about something, I am haunted by those words.
I don't have fancy events to blog about, I'm not famous nor a sociallite.
I don't have awesome photographs to blog about, I'm not a professional photographer nor do I have a pricey DSLR.
I started a blog, because me & my thoughts are all I've got, and it seems like some people finds it offensive?
When most of time things I write about are things about myself & how I felt.
Part of me regretted joining a so-called "blogging-community" because when I am myself, I am alienated but when I put on a mask, I am accepted.
I lost myself in so many ways, I guess that was just one of it.
Most importantly, I lost my strength. I didn't know how to defend myself from the people who are hurting me.
Thankfully, I reached the end of the tunnel and now I'm in the light.
I am slowly regaining my strength, my confidence and most importantly my voice.
Thanx to a few of my close friends. ♥♥♥